I have been in the upholstery industry for the past 30 years .
Upholstering just about anything that has material on it , started with dining chairs to VIP Aircraft Interiors. Aircraft interiors took me a while to get there but finally reached the peak of my upholstery career . Everything was perfect.
Great job, plenty of friends , weekends out with the wife and kids . The normal events for a young,
growing family.
Then out of nowhere, we (the family) were hit with an unexpected news. My wife , mother of 3 beautiful daughters was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The news was devastating as we did not know what to expect .
While working for a world wide very well-known Aircraft Completion Center, outfitting some of the worlds finest wide body aircraft .
I was at the peak of my career .
MS did not care , time was advancing and so was my wife's condition. The going out events had to stop , friends stopped coming over since it was getting harder for my wife to host and event . Life was no longer as we knew it . We sat down and had to make a decision . My wife's MS was progressing at a rapid pace , many functions of her body were malfunctioning, signals from the brain were not reaching her extremities . My family and I were trying everything we knew to find a cure for her condition , as would anyone else in this situation . MS symptoms progressed the point that she started to feel as if she was a burden .To see a loved one struggle is not an easy task.
We sat down as a family and made the decision it was time for me to leave the company I was working for to take care of my wife, it was a hard decision to make, but necessary as it would be affecting our financial situation .
Debilitating MS symptoms include
Stiffness and muscle spasms in her legs
no strength in her hands or legs , she is wheelchair bound .
if left alone , there's a possibility she will fall out of her chair .
she's having cognitive issues
Numbness from her hips down and a feeling a burning sensation from her knees down to her toes.
Problems with bladder and bowel control
Fatigue
if the temperature is too hot or too cold she will have speech and swallowing disorders
Sexual difficulties and emotional changes
Intellectual impairment
At this point in life, my presence is more valuable than my paycheck .
What Steps did we Take to Prepare for the transition In our multiple sclerosis journey.
We created a financial plan for my family and I.
We got rid of all the "extras" we did not need . In other words , got rid of the "wants" and only kept the "needs". To the point my girls would ask us why we couldn't take them to they're favorite fast food anymore ? These were tough times as we didn't have a certainty for our future and didn't know how to deal with MS affects. We communicated to our friends and i spread the word to my collogues that i would be upholstering from my garage at home while taking care of my wife. Hoping it would be enough to sustain my family . At this time, we had no other income , it was a leap of faith . hoping for the best.
These were challenging times as our bills and mortgage payments didn't care about our situation. we just had to adjust to the change . It was stressful trying to juggle between my wife's needs and fulfilling our kids needs and wants . I felt like a tennis ball being hit from one side of the court to the other not knowing when and where I should just fall out of bounds in order to take a time out . I'm thinking many men and women can relate to this feeling . Almost made me think twice about the decision we made to leave the company, as it was our bread and butter . Working at a completion center that builds custom interiors for the highest demanding customers was a true satisfaction. The pride and joy to stand back and see the faces of the Aircraft owners when they take possession of they're completed aircraft is an unmatching satisfaction , in my opinion at the time . But I had to come back to reality and understood it was no longer an option for us.
Staying home, even if it means working out of a small garage , taking care of my wife is by far the best satisfaction . knowing I'm next door give her a sense of security.
Even though her emotions can create havoc . I just had to learn that it's a combination of middle age woman crisis (menopause) , the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis affecting her brain and her just being a woman , NO offense to ladies that will read this. C'mon ladies , you know its true. Smile , God loves you.
Anyways back to my blog,
learning what exactly is MS and its affects on my wife and the affects on my family has surely been a learning curve ,as the needs of an MS patient may differ in every patient . Its a Rollercoaster ride for sure. First thing to learn is that you are not battling against your loved one and its not their fault .
The feeling of not being of any help and feeling like a burden is real . You'll never actually understand what is going thru their brain as it can change from one moment to the next . "Patience, is a virtue", Confucius says . Meaning that it doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop. That quote can be applied to many aspects of our life . In other words ,I had to learn to not give up and appreciate life. Living life to the fullest with the ones you love is vital to your happiness no matter what condition you find yourself in . I made it my priority to make my wife's life as happy as possibly can . "HAPPY WIFE= HAPPY LIFE". Isn't that the truth.
Following our budget plan has helped us navigate the expenses that come with having an MS patient .
Personal needs , medications and trips to doctors appointment can add up pretty quick.
Trying to find alternative sources of income while being a caregiver is also challenging . The Art of upholstery that I never thought I would like has turned into my passion and now is our main source of income . It has maintained my family and I for years now , our daughter and and son in law are the new generation that will be taking over when its time , for know my daughters are helping with my wife and one of them helps me in the shop as well . my son in law is learning and helps in the shopas well . Its time for me to stand back and be with my wife as her condition progresses . She is 100% dependent on me , so i cannot fail her . We have known each other since we were kids and will be together forever . This is the satisfaction of working out of a small garage , to be as close to my wife when she needs me is by far the best satisfaction i have experienced so far .
Now i just have to balance my mental and emotional health . We still have 3 daughters and 2 grandchildren . They will always be our "KIDS" no matter how old they are and no matter what they get themselves into , we will always be hey mem! and hey Dad! lol.
I value our time together and believe that making choices that align with our personal values rather than social expectations is a lesson learned .
Even if a new chapter in life has been presented, we take it with small steps . I cannot envision what our life will bring this year but we stay open to opportunities while continuing support for my wife and I.
Transitioning from a six figure job to caregiving has been eventful to say the least . It has its challenges but one of the most rewarding decision I've made . Making my wife laugh and seeing her smile is the best feeling a husband can have .
Prioritizing is key to having a successful life emotionally and financially .
Even though we go thru struggles , we understand they are only temporary.
We would like to thank all our customers that unknowingly contribute to our happiness . You
are deeply appreciated, thank you
Luis
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